Continuing from “Coming Together To Be (Un)comfortable” from the book “The Power of Stillness”. . .
Notice stories or labels you carry around for other people, and how they inadvertently establish all manner of “-ites” (4 Nephi 1:17): “druggies,” “Utah Mormons,” “inactives,” “married too young,” “geeky,” “Why is he / she single?: How do these assumptions affect your interactions or feelings towards “others.” particularly your desire to serve and love them?
When someone is making choices that are scary or are hard for you, practice sitting with your discomfort. With the Lord’s help, find compassion in your heart for them—doing your best to meet them where they are—spirit seeking understanding from a place of interest and kindness.
When you notice hard feelings for someone, practice tolerating the discomfort or going outside your comfort zone by extending kindness to them. if not in your presence, try this on your own:
- Bring to mind the name and image of that person.
- Remind yourself that the Lord loves them and the universe is made for them, too.
- Wish upon them in prayer all the love, goodness, comfort, and freedom Christ offers them.
- Repeat.
When in the presence of someone suffering, notice what is going on inside you—watching the tendency to distract or want to push away. As best you can, practice ‘watching with them” in as much presence as you can bring. While staying open to ways you can alleviate their suffering, let yourself just be with them, too.
Recognize that really showing up in our relationships, authentically and lovingly, takes emotional effort and time. Just because that feels hard or inconvenient doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Be patient and schedule meaningful respite with the Savior to recharge and keep perspective.
While mindful relational intimacy is about being whole, real, and sincere, it is not synonymous with inappropriate self-disclosure. Authentic presence requires an awareness of context and includes maintaining healthy physical and emotional boundaries.
Next time you reach out to minister to a neighbor or family member, watch the tendency to get through the encounter or “get done” with it. Experiment with letting yourself forget the clock a little so you can immerse yourself in the moment.
When discomfort arises in interactions at Church or home, breathe deeply and practice accepting this as an inherent part of building a Zion Community—together! ~~Jacob Z. Hess, Carriie L.Skarda, Kyle D. Anderson. Ty R. Mansfield p.119-120 continued with “Things to Try”.
