Continuing from ‘Peace be Unto Thy Soul III’: Joseph L. Bishop writes:
I could also easily understand that there can be a variety of trigger points to every level of Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief, waiting in the shadows to set off grief in thousands of unsuspecting victims, allowing only a fortunate few to pass on unscathed to the next level. It was also clear that some trigger points could be more dangerous than others. To find out what these trigger points were, I reasoned that I would only have to analyze those who were in their grief to identify the cause.
We all have trigger points in our lives, some big and some small, that can cause endless grief if we are not careful. As a simple illustration, who would not recognize that the smell of freshly baked cookies could trigger someone to forget their diet, which in turn could make them feel and act like a failure.
Truly, trigger points come in all shapes and sizes, but they have one thing in common—they start in the mind. And left unrestrained, the mind can create toxic thoughts that can imprison people in a cell of self-imposed grief. That is what happened to me! That is what happens every day to thousands of others. Whatever causes your negative and toxic thoughts to come tumbling down on you is your trigger point, and it needs to be identified and, of course, controlled. At last, I had identified the why of my problem and perhaps the why of many others’ problems.
While enjoying my new found understanding, I decided to trace my thoughts back to my wife’s death to see if that period had produced any good changes in my life. I began searching for some “good thoughts”—to see if they had been as helpful to me as they had been to Carolyn.
I confess, trying to find something good that had happened in those frightfully challenging times was a bit of a task. But I finally found one very positive change that had taken place. When I discovered that anger was a trigger point and how destructive it was, I no longer had a desire to judge others—doctors included. I had learned my lesson. I could now see with clarity the unrighteous judgment of other serves no purpose. It will not change what is. I learned that, clearly, well known scripture, “Judge not, that ye be not judged,” is more profound and meaningful than I ever imagined (Matthew 7:1). Not only had I found one of my negative trigger points, but by realizing what it was, I was almost immediately able to overcome its power. My anger was gone—and so was much of my continued grief. For the first time in a long while, I found a crack in my prison wall. ~Joseph L. Bishop PhD,“Peace be Unto Thy Soul III”, (Covenant Communications, American Fork, 2012) p.9 , , , , continued
