The following was given at the Priesthood session of General Conference the evening of September 30, 2017 by Elder Richard J. Maynes Of the Seventy. Though addressed to men and young men, this and all conferences talks contain correct principles that can be readily adopted by individuals of both genders, thus drawing all closer to God the Father and Jesus Christ.
Elder Maynes said: “… One thing is for certain: earning the Lord’s trust is a blessing that comes through great effort on our part. Trust is a blessing based on obedience to God’s laws. Earning the Lord’s trust comes as a result of being true to the covenants we have made in the waters of baptism and in the holy temple. When we keep our promises to the Lord, His trust in us grows.
I love both ancient and modern-day scriptures that use the phrase “integrity of heart” when describing a righteous person’s character.1 Integrity or the lack of integrity is a fundamental element of one’s character. Men who have “integrity of heart” are men to be trusted—because trust is built on integrity. (see also 1.1 )
Being a man of integrity simply means your intentions, as well as your actions, are pure and righteous in all aspects of your life, both in public and in private. With each decision we make, we either merit more of God’s trust or diminish His trust. This principle is perhaps most clearly manifest in our divinely appointed responsibilities as husbands and fathers.
As husbands and fathers, we have received a divine charge from modern-day prophets, seers, and revelators in the document “The Family A Proclamation to the World” This document teaches us that (1) “fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness,” (2) fathers “are responsible to provide the necessities of life,” and (3) fathers are responsible to protect their families.
For us to earn God’s trust, we will need to accomplish these three divinely appointed responsibilities to our families in the Lord’s way. As further stated in the family proclamation, the Lord’s way is to fulfill these responsibilities together with our wives “as equal partners.”2 To me, this means we do not move forward with any significant decision regarding these three responsibilities without total unity with our wives.
The first step in our quest to earn the Lord’s trust is to place our trust in Him.
In order to represent a woman’s perspective on this subject, I asked my two married daughters to help me. I asked if they would provide a sentence or two on how they viewed the importance of trust as it affects their marriage and family life. Here are the thoughts of Lara Harris and Christina Hansen.
First, Lara: “One of the most important things to me is knowing that as my husband goes about his day, he is making choices that show respect and love toward me. When we can trust each other in this way, it brings peace to our home, where we can enjoy raising our family together.”
Now Christina’s thoughts: “Having trust in someone is similar to having faith in someone. Without that trust and faith, there’s fear and doubt. For me, one of the greatest blessings that come from being able to fully trust my husband is peace—peace of mind knowing that he actually does what he says he will do. Trust brings peace, love, and an environment where that love can grow.”
Lara and Christina never saw what the other had written. It is so interesting to me that both of them independently considered the blessing of peace in the home to be a direct consequence of having a husband they could trust. As illustrated by my daughters’ examples, the principle of trust plays an extremely important role in the development of a Christ-centered home.”
Later in the same talk Elder Maynes spoke of when his father taught him integrity. Working for his father after returning from his mission, they were in a meeting together when integrity/honesty was tempted…. “After leaving the meeting, we got into the rental car, and my father turned to me and asked, “Well, what do you think we should do?” I responded by saying I didn’t think we should accept this offer.
My father then asked, “Don’t you think we have a responsibility to all of our employees to maintain a good backlog of work?” While I was contemplating his question and before I could answer, he answered his own question. He said, “Listen, Rick, once you take a bribe or compromise your integrity, it is very difficult to ever get it back. Don’t ever do it, not even once.” ~Elder Maynes’ talk can be read or listened to from “Earning the Trust of the Lord and Your Family”.
Note from Kent: This is a hard one… for those who missed lesson(s) as a child or youth; exposed to parents with minimum child rearing skills; to dysfunctional environments; to ‘survival of the fittest’ and ‘no one cares’ scenarios…they may be haunted with a very difficult uphill battle. Members who were raised in homes and taught good gospel principles with patience from loving parents sometimes hold judgement against those others who struggle. We remember our Savior always loved the sinner, not the sin. He was always patient and tolerant far beyond mortal man’s judging nature. As a convert myself, it took time to fully embrace the LDS culture, a culture of integrity. (I am still learning and don’t see a time when ‘repentance will be in my past’ (this said tongue in cheek, a chuckle of reality!)… so why should I presume to judge my neighbor?
In the meantime as suggested above by Elder Maynes’ father, adopting the ‘Don’t ever do it, not even once’ discipline will, without doubt, relieve a lot of future heartache (to self and others) because it certainly can be easy to do it again. A person, and anyone closely associated with him/her, may sustain more damage long term than the victim… when accumulating even ‘minor indiscretions’. I have lived what his father spoke and wish that it were not so, yet have always been blessed in a sweet relationship of trust with my wife and family. kdm
