Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said in a Conference address, October 2015:
“One of the purposes of the scriptures is to show us how righteous people respond to temptation and evil. In short, they avoid it! Joseph ran from Potiphar’s wife [i]. Lehi took his family and left Jerusalem.[ii] Mary and Joseph fled into Egypt to escape Herod’s wicked plot.[iii] In every instance, Heavenly Father warned these believers. Similarly, He will help us know whether to fight, flee, or go with the flow of our unfolding circumstances. He will speak to us through prayer, and when we pray, we will have the Holy Ghost, who will guide us. We have the scriptures, the teachings of living prophets, patriarchal blessings, the counsel of inspired parents, priesthood and auxiliary leaders, and, above all, the still, small voice of the Spirit.
Again, may I speak frankly? The track that leads to marriage passes through the terrain called dating! Dating is the opportunity for lengthy conversations. When you date, learn everything you can about each other. Get to know each other’s families when possible. Are your goals compatible? Do you share the same feelings about the commandments, the Savior, the priesthood, the temple, parenting, callings in the Church, and serving others? Have you observed one another under stress, responding to success and failure, resisting anger, and dealing with setbacks? Does the person you are dating tear others down or build them up? Is his or her attitude and language and conduct what you would like to live with every day?
That said, none of us marry perfection; we marry potential. The right marriage is not only about what I want; it’s also about what she—who’s going to be my companion—wants and needs me to be.
Your responsibility now is to be worthy of the person you want to marry. If you want to marry a wholesome, attractive, honest, happy, hardworking, spiritual person, be that kind of person. If you are that person and you are not married, be patient. Wait upon the Lord. I testify that the Lord knows your desires and loves you for your faithful devotion to Him. He has a plan for you, whether it be in this life or the next. Listen to His Spirit. “Seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand.”[iv] In this life or the next, His promises will be fulfilled. “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear.”[v]
If you don’t have abundant resources, don’t worry. A wonderful Church member recently told me, “I didn’t raise my children on money; I raised them on faith.” There is a great truth to that. Begin exercising your faith in every area of your life. If you don’t, you will suffer what I would call “faith atrophy.” The very strength needed to exercise your faith will be diminished. So exercise your faith every day, and you will “wax stronger and stronger … and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ.”[vi]
To be ready for marriage, make certain you are worthy to take the sacrament and hold a temple recommend. Go to the temple regularly. Serve in the Church. In addition to serving in Church callings, follow the example of the Savior, who simply “went about doing good.”[vii]
Both said to me, “If you want my counsel, be prepared to take it.” I understood what that meant. Prayerfully select mentors who have your spiritual well-being at heart. Be careful about taking advice from your peers. If you want more than you now have, reach up, not across![viii]
Remember, no one can reach upward on your behalf. Only your faith and prayers will cause you to lift yourself and have the mighty change of heart. Only your resolve to be obedient can change your life. Because of the Savior’s atoning sacrifice for you, the power is in you.[ix] You have your agency, you have strong testimonies if you are obedient, and you can follow the Spirit that guides you.
Recently, a young filmmaker said he felt he was part of a “generation of prodigals”—a generation “looking for hope and joy and fulfillment, but looking in all the wrong places and in the wrong ways.” [x] see below
In the Savior’s parable of the prodigal son, the son had many blessings awaiting him, but before he could claim them, he had to look closely at his life, his choices, and his circumstances. The miracle that happened next is described in the scriptures with a simple phrase: “He came to himself.”[xi] From ‘Meeting the Challenges of Today’s World’ by Elder Robert D. Hales
[x] Nathan Clarkson, in Emma Koonse, “‘Confessions of a Prodigal Son’ Writer Says ‘We Are All Prodigals,’ Modern Retelling of Story Aimed at Millennials,” Christian Post, Jan. 26, 2015, christianpost.com.
Elder Robert D. Hales passed away about 15 minutes after Sunday morning conference October 1, 2017.
