I’ve had a lot of time to do some reflection since Sunday. I’ll have much more time over the next couple of days as diagnosis completes and treatment begins. I’m in a hospital out of my home state plugged into multiple things to stabilize my condition.
I’ve watched far more TV than I’m used to and had wonderful family close. When laying horizontal, awake, I have reflected upon what might hold me back in my relationship with God and come to a conclusion (mentioned from time to time in this blog) I hold onto incidents where my example clouded, even damaged others’ relationships with God. At other times I have totally ‘zoned out’ and not spoken up when that may have been essential for change in another’s life… as if I became ‘unplugged’ at those pivotal moments.
What comes back to me as I take this to the Lord; let it go permanently — unplug it and move on. He can and will heal all such situations, going back and back. A real part of embracing His atoning sacrifice is to accept it by shutting out my past he’s taken care of. Wasted energy by my reflection would be better used in positive ways, productive to His current purposes… that I have control over now. Such a track is much more peaceful, healing, productive for Him than my ‘wallowing in my mire’… and life is much happier doing it as he’s directed… HIs way! kdm
Please remember me in your prayers as I go through medical procedures over the next couple of days.
