Continuing from a previous post, Bruce C. and Marie K. Haven wrote:
The way many of our students had aligned themselves with only one of these principles illustrates today’s tendency to live in just one end of a bipolar world. At times we judge our Church members too harshly, not allowing them the space to make personal judgments. Learning to understand and live with competing principles is an essential skill—not only for law students, but for all the rest of us. That capacity is one of the hallmarks of settled simplicity in Stage Three. As we do we will learn for ourselves that “by proving contraries, truth is made manifest.
As a second example, we can also feel the discomfort of ambiguity in our choices to make sacrifices for the Lord or the Church in face of uncertainty about possible outcomes. That discomfort, sometimes even anxiety, actually tells us that our eyes are open to implications and possible consequences of what we’re doing—and why we’re doing it. For instance, if I find a lost wallet filled with cash, it is perfectly normal—probably even desirable—for me to realize that I could keep the money rather than looking for the wallet’s owner. That awareness makes my choice to look for the owner fully moral. I am then conscious to the choice to act, to risk, to extend myself—as opposed to an automatic rote decision.
Often, probably too often, we speak of real sacrifice far too glibly, not acknowledging the ambiguity we might honestly feel before bowing our heads in submission before God—especially when we can’t possibly understand the reasons why we must give so much when we know so little. As John Tanner said in describing the heroic sacrifices pioneer-like family members, “In stories like these it is easy—too easy—to see the faith and miss the fear. But you can’t miss the fear and trembling when it’s your own history.”36
The scriptures repeatedly illustrate this process—part of the core doctrine of walking by faith (see 1 Nephi 3:7). Think of the profound ambiguity in the moment when Abraham stood with a raised knife over his precious Isaac, knowing that the requested sacrifice contradicted everything that mattered to Abraham: the promises about the only son, his posterity, his promised land—everything, that is, except his unconditional love for the Lord.
Esther knew that her people were fasting and praying for her, but she also knew that she was risking her life by approaching the king. With fully informed faith, Esther said, “So will I go in into the king, which is not according to the law: and if I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:13-16; emphasis added). The three young Israelites approached the fiery furnace in Babylon with the same conscious mind-set: “Our God . . . is able to deliver us . . . and he will deliver us . . . O king, But if not, . . . we will not serve thy gods” (Daniel 3:17-18; emphasis added).
Moroni faced the apparent contradiction of being tasked with writing a final witness on sacred plates, yet “because of the awkwardness of our hands” he felt unable to write with power, saying, “I fear lest the Gentiles shall mock at our words.” Then the Lord taught him that if he would humble himself, He would turn the weakness to strength (see Ether 12:24-30). The Lord has a way of helping us resolve our ambiguities in ways that both stretch and strengthen us.
One young returned missionary left the Church, because he said, “the Church didn’t meet my expectations.” That viewpoint could simply reflect a modern consumer’s view of decision making, but it could also trivialize his religion, perhaps because it doesn’t get a high enough Yelp rating. Even so, it is likely that this same young man had experienced his own moment of Abrahamic ambiguity, when he needed to decide in whom, or in what, he most wanted to trust. Choosing apathy or choosing to trust the Lord and His Church could, either one, temporarily resolve one’s ambiguity—even, temporarily, one’s existential anxiety. But the long-term differences between the two paths are staggering.
If we can resolve our ambiguities with a believing attitude, our faithful choices will lead ultimately to our sanctification. Those whose faith is not blind “see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and . . . understand with their heart.” And the complete use of our faith senses will one day bring us to the feet of “Him who said, “and I should heal them” (Matthew 13:15). ~~~”Faith is Not Blind”, Bruce C. and Marie K. Hafen, Deseret Book p.43-45
