Continuing from a previous post “Faith is Not Blind” by Bruce C. & Marie K. Hafen, Deseret Book 20?? . . . .
Others took the opposing view, tending to downplay what President Benson said if they didn’t agree with it. They were stuck in stage two complexity. But Mitzi and many of her friends represented a third point of view, feeling caught in a gap between the ideal and the real. They had enrolled in our law school with idealistic visions of what they could do with their legal education, single or married. But now, because of the respect they felt for the President of the Church, they wondered if they had done something wrong. They sincerely wanted to follow the prophet. This law school had been their hope; now that hope felt dashed. (P. 41)
I first told the students that during my BYU-Idhao years, I had attended monthly Church Board of Education meetings with senior Church leaders—including President Benson. I knew first hand what they felt about the law school, “The Brethren know you women students are here, and they are glad!” Both in public and in private, I have heard them express many positive variations on President Gordon B. Hinkley’s oft repeated counsel to LDS women: “Get all the education you possibly can. Life has become so complex and competitive . . . . You will be expected to put forth great effort and to use your best talents.”30
At the same time, the general principles President Benson taught about mothers turned out to coincide with in Church’s “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” issued in 1995; “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. 31
I wanted them to know that these true principles apply to society as well as to the Church. Drawing on my own research in U.S. family law, I expressed personal concern that our society increasingly devalues motherhood—even though social science has shown for years that good mothering is critically important. I don’t recall just what illustrations I shared with them, but those data were similar to the more recent research findings. A 2005 study, for example, found that 81 percent of American mothers considered their mothering the most important thing they do, even though only half of all mothers felt valued in that role in society.~~~ “Faith is Not Blind” . . . Bruce C. & Marie K. Hafen, Deseret Book 20??
Other data show that mothers are the best models to help growing children move through all the necessary stages of brain development. Thus absent or ineffective mothering can stunt childhood brain growth, negatively affecting both families and society. 32
I added that our student’s gospel perspectives equip them to understand marriage and parenting far better than most people do now. If our students of either gender were asked to tell other American law students what mattered most in their lives, their general priorities would sound much like President Benson’s. That made it all the more important for women in that group to gain a sound legal education and analytical skills needed to help a society that is all confused about marriage and family life.
In summary, I said, almost nothing is more important than motherhood and fatherhood. At the same time, the Church encourages women to gain all the education they can, including, if they choose, law school. And we all need prayerfully to apply these sometimes-competing principles to our own circumstances. The Brethren have confidence in our ability to do that.
~~~ “Faith is Not Blind” . . . Bruce C. & Marie K. Hafen, Deseret Book 20??
