From Bruce C. Hafen and his book “Spiritually Anchored in Unsettled Times”:
If we really want a testimony, we, like Nephi, must desire to find God above all other desires. As Alma compared growing a seed with growing a testimony, he said, “Even if ye can no more desire to believe, let this desire to believe work in you, even until you believe in a manner that you can give place for a portion of my words” (Alma 32:27). Our desires determine our direction. Thar’s why we show what we really want by what we do, not just by what we say. If we say we desire to know Him, but the way we live says otherwise, we probably want something else more. And whatever it is we want so much, we are likely some day to have it. As Lehi taught, we “are free to choose liberty and eternal life” or “captivity and death” and misery, according to our desires (2 Nephi 2:27).
In the long run, then, our most deeply held desires will govern our choices, one by one and day by day until our lives finally line up to what we have really wanted most—good or otherwise. We can indeed have eternal life, if we really want it, so much as we don’t want something else more. In Alma’s words, “he that knoweth good and evil, to him it is given according to his desires, whether he desireth good or evil, life or death, joy or remorse of conscience” (Alma 29:5).
Now let us connect desires to worthiness. Because our desires guide the shape of our direction, we must be careful in our search for truth to avoid getting hooked on forces that twist our desires. Richard Bushman tells the story of his son going off to college when he was still unsure of his testimony. Richard encouraged his son to continue his quest for his own witness—on one condition. He asked him to promise that he would keep the commandments while he was searching, because otherwise he would bias his search. Because sin produces guilty feelings, our subconscious self (and the adversary) will try to protect us from the pain of guilt by insisting that the gospel is not true.
Moreover, the Holy Ghost is the ultimate source of the witness we seek, and He cannot be in an unclean place. If we are unworthy we make Him unwelcome. Notice these three consequences, not only of unclean acts but of unclean thoughts: “He that looketh on a woman to lust after her or if any shall commit adultery in their hearts, they,” first shall not have the spirit”; second “shall deny the faith”; and third, “shall fear” (Doctrine & Covenants 63:16).
Not having the Spirit and denying the faith are exactly the opposite of developing a spiritually grounded testimony. So, lust blocks out testimony. In vivid contrast to the effects of lustful thoughts, notice the three consequences of letting “virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly”: With virtue rather than lust in our minds, ‘then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God” (the very opposite of fear), “The doctrine of the priesthood shall distill upon thy soul as the dews from heaven” (the very opposite of denying the faith), and the Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion” (the very opposite of not having the Spirit) (Doctrine & Covenants 121:45-46).
Brigham Young’s plain language put it this way: “Pray to the Lord to inspire your hearts. Ask for wisdom and knowledge. It is our duty to seek after it. Let us seek and we shall find; . . . but for His coming down here to pour His Spirit upon you while you are aiming after the vain and frivolous things of the world; indulging in all the vanity, nonsense and foolery which surrounds you; drinking in all the filthy abomination which should be spurned from every community on the earth—so long as you continue this course, rest assured He will not come near you.”
~~~ Bruce C, Hafen, Spirituality ANCHORED in Unsettled Times, Deseret Book, Pg 48-50
