Ministering Like a Prophet III, (continuing from Ministering Like a Prophet II)
We are usually very good about showing the appropriate social concerns for someone during the time of their passing. We may even send them flowers, pat ourselves on the back, and think we have done what was needed for their grief to be assuaged because of our obvious concern and generosity. I’m being a little *facetious.
The real pain at someone’s death doesn’t settle in until after someone’s funeral. It is when a person or the family begins to experience the loneliness, the emptiness left by the absence of their loved one that they miss the most. When my wife’s father died in July, she really didn’t fall apart until Thanksgiving. She went downstairs to the freezer to pull out a turkey, and as she looked at the bird she thought, “What is the point? He’s dead! We do this for him!” She wept in earnest for the first time since her fathers passing.
It takes at least a year for those in mourning to live through all the holidays they used to enjoy with the dearly departed. Every holiday is different for each person. When we have been assigned to minister, we need to remember that the grieving process is a long one. Until you have gone through it yourself, it can be difficult to understand how hard it can be.
Ministering to those who have lost someone must be done with sensitivity, and by the Spirit. The needs may be different for every person but they are very real, and very present all the time. Some will want company, while others will want to hide from the world and will need to be gently coaxed out of their seclusion when the time is right.
As we resolve to minister more diligently to those in need, let us remember to include our children in these learning lessons of life.
I mentioned earlier that ministering to the needs of others is a learned skill. It used to be a shared social skill that most people understood to at least some extent. Today there are far fewer people who have any idea how to set aside their technologies and just focus on another person for a while. There is always time to pick up our phone or tablet later. But when we serve someone else we need to make them and their needs our top priority. How can we convince them they are important to us if we allow ourselves to keep getting interrupted by reminders, phone calls, and texts, both received and sent?
Just as a parent who doesn’t teach their children about the gospel will lose that generation to the world, so our children need to be taught the importance of service to others. They need to experience first hand the joys of giving themselves and their talents, and energy. Spending years reminding ourselves how to minister appropriately won’t do the next generation any good if we are not including our children in our ministering efforts, and including our family members or friends in our ministering not only helps those whom we visit, but it also draws us closer to those who serve with us.~~~Kelly Merrill, A Little Book of Ministering, www.mormonbasics.com (website address) p.6-8 /// . . . See the first post Ministering Like a Prophet.
* factious. . . .treating serious issues with deliberately inappropriate humor; flippant.
