Continuing from Joan A. MacDonald and a previous post “The Holiness of Everyday Life”:
The story of Paul the Apostle illustrates this principle (Access to previous above in blue). Saul was a Jew who vigorously persecuted Christians. He was cruel, vicious, and relentless—this seemed to be who Saul was. But on the road to Damascus, he met the Lord and was changed forever. He became Paul, the Apostle, kind, gentle, believer in grace and reconciler of Gentile and Jew. The question is, which persona represents the truth about this man? Which was his essence? Which was his soul? What was he like in the premortal existence?
In most of the discussions we hear about Paul’s conversion, it is assumed that Saul is the real person and Paul is the changed, converted one. This assumption raises some problems. If he was evil, why did God choose him? If Christ thrust conversion onto an unseeking Saul, what does that mean for the doctrine of agency? And if God was willing to grab Saul by the scruff of his neck and turn him into Paul, why didn’t he do the same thing to other evil leaders, such as Hitler, Mafia bosses, or Saddam Hussein? Perhaps our basic assumption about Paul is wrong. Perhaps Paul was not the converted or changed Saul; perhaps Saul was the changed and corrupted Paul.
Surely we revealed something of ourselves to our Heavenly Father during our premortal existence. And always, there is the possibility that when we come to earth, the circumstance we find ourselves in will profoundly influence and alter who we were there and what we started out to be. The only plausible explanation for what happened to Saul on the road to Damascus is not that the truly evil man was changed into a truly good man; the only plausible explanation is that the false front was revealed and then stripped away. Paul was not blinded after his conversion; he was blinded before. His confrontation with the Lord on the road to Damascus opened his eyes, revealing what had been there all along—a man of God.
So are we, many times, blind to what we really are. We know the natural man so well. We focus on it and try to fight our natural and sometimes evil tendencies, and in so doing we lose sight of the real truth about who we are and who we are becoming. We need to change our basic assumptions about ourselves. We were first children of God. And we are becoming that which we already are—Gods to be. When we act from that assumption, we can focus on the light and goodness within ourselves and the light that leads us on. We become more conscious of, and more responsive to our yearnings to be close to and act like God. Gradually, throughout eternity, the natural man falls away, and. . . .our truer selves come to light and move towards God.
As Meister Eckhart said: The seed of God is in us. Given an intelligent and hard-working farmer and a diligent field hand, it will thrive and grow up to God, whose seed it is; and according to its fruits will be God-nature. Pear seeds grow into pear trees, and nut seeds grow nut trees, and God seed into God.3 ~~~ Joan A. MacDonald, The Holiness of Everyday Life (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1995) p.36-38
