From Kathy K. Clayton and her book “Teaching to Build Faith and Faithfulness”:
Much research has been done . . . on the difference between people who are fundamentally introverted versus those who are fundamentally extroverted. Introverts are described as the people who find renewal in solitude. They are those who enjoy time alone and prefer to process and think quietly before they speak or engage with others. Extroverts, on the other hand, are enlivened by a crowd. They prefer large parties and fast-paced, high-energy engagement with big groups of people. Many of our homes and classrooms champion the natural disposition of extroverts while essentially ignoring the preferences of introverts. Our school classrooms are typically organized in clusters of round tables to promote group interaction. Teachers in those classrooms structure the day around brainstorming and group problem-solving sessions. As a result they minimize the opportunities for introverts in class to find the quiet solitude that more naturally promotes their best work. At home we tend to encourage the more introverted children to speak up, join the group, get with the program, and overcome what we label as shyness as if preference for alone time were a handicap to be overcome.
Our middle daughter has a young son who tends toward the introvert category. When he was barely a year old, before I understood either that the little guy or his preferences very well, I took him for a walk in his stroller. As we walked, I sought to engage him in the world around him by pointing out the dog and the birds. I sang to him, put Cheerios on his stroller tray, and just generally harassed him with stimulation. His his wise mother gently corrected me, saying, “Mom, he likes to do things his own way. Just leave him alone and let him enjoy the ride.” Intuitively, that young mother was allowing her baby boy the privilege for being himself without requiring him to be more like her or me. His natural preference for more focused, quiet interaction with the world was neither good nor bad, simply an inclination in that little guy that could be allowed and championed. He could be influenced to extend the boundaries of his comfort zone, but he did not need to be remade.
There are many vexing and challenging things that are beyond our control and within the jurisdiction of heaven. Often things happen in homes and classrooms that challenge us and catch us by surprise. Those events that occur outside of our plan offer opportunities for us to “let go and let God.” Many people wisely adopt Proverbs 3:5-6 as their personal mantra: Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. “The space that is left open by letting go leaves blessed room for heavenly surprises. Unscripted response offers critical opportunity for inspiration, exercise of faith, and trust in God.
Queen Ester provides a powerful example of a woman who responding to troubling, unforeseen events in her life with courage and faith. She counseled with others, amassed her best personal resources, then stepped forward, trusting that God would magnify her efforts. In her case, the person who was influenced by her brave and faithful response was her husband, the king. While she might have preferred to exercise complete control of her husband and the troubling circumstances in which her people found themselves, neither the control of another, not even her husband, nor the dangerous political problem facing her people fell within her prerogative. She chose rather to exert the righteous influence of her personal jurisdiction, she invited the communal exercise of faith of others, she trusted God and pressed on. The result of her choosing to influence what she could without needing to control what she could not was miraculous. (See Esther 1—10.) ~~Kathy K. Clayton and her book “Teaching to Build Faith and Faithfulness”: (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2012) p.55-57
