Parenting, Joan A. MacDonald shared:
Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. ~~PSALM 127:5
CHILDREN ARE A WONDERFUL PARADOX. We are eager to have them. We readily admit they make life more enjoyable and satisfying. Expectant couples are afloat, and babies bring smiles to everyone’s faces.
But then there’s the other side. Infants and toddlers are so demanding! They take so much time! Their care often leaves parents exhausted and gives marriage its greatest test. As fatigue takes its toll, new mothers are all used up. “Why doesn’t he help me more? Why do I have to do so much?” New fathers feel neglected and ignored. “Hey, I’m still a part of this family! Don’t I count anymore?” Adding to the problem we begin to slip in our spiritual pursuits. Scripture study, prayer and even family night often get only sporadic attention. Sacrament meeting becomes a trial. It seems just when we need the Spirit the most, it becomes hardest to obtain. Why? What purpose does that serve and why is raising children so important that all who can are commanded to bear them?
At a time when we need the Spirit so much, why don’t we feel it more often? Why can’t we have “temple feelings” every day? I suspect we’re not supposed to. I suspect that being close to the Lord is not what we’re here for. In fact, being with the Lord is what we left behind. We left him behind to see what we might do on our own. Moreover we are commanded to multiply and replenish the earth so that we might have joy in our posterity. But joy is not the only thing our posterity brings us. It also brings us experience, learning, understanding, patience and selflessness. In short, raising children propels us in our quest to greater spiritual maturity.
What is a Child?
What is a human being? What are you and I?
Latter-day Saints are quite familiar with these age old questions. In an attempt to answer them, let’s go back to the very beginning.
Hugh Nibley wrote of this time: “Who are we? Abraham sees that as the ultimate question and meets it handily: intelligence . . . , beyond which nothing is to be said. You can doubt everything else, but that much you must grant—there were those intelligences, because they still are. What the book of Abraham tells me is that, if this moment of consciousness is real, then it is all real. I can bear unshakable testimony to one thing: I am here.”1
Look into a baby’s eyes, and what do you see looking back? Consciousness, awareness, alertness, intelligence—teaching you about your own nature any time you choose to learn. Watch your nine-month-old, two-year-old, four-year-old. To children, the whole world is a magnificent university, and children pursue learning with incredible gusto and insatiable curiosity. Children must learn, Children must explore. Children must grow.. These things are the very essence of their natures. Learning and growing are the very essence of their natures. Learning and growing are the essence of our human nature as well, our version of d’être. Sometimes we forget, often we forget. As adult responsibilities and obligations press upon us we lose sight. Making a living, maintaining a home, caring for the children, filling the calling— these things preoccupy us so we often miss the point. Reaching the goal and completing the task become the important thing. Our minds are so occupied with the end point, we forget the point of doing is learning. . We forget to pay attention as we go. Proverbs admonishes us; “With all thy getting, get understanding.” (Proverbs 4:7.)
Watching our children eagerly going after understanding; seeing their bright eager faces; hearing their endless, seeking questions; looking and searching for answers with them—all these remind us.
As our children get older, the questions don’t stop; they just become more difficult, and hence more helpful to our own growth. Discussing difficult issues such as racism, economic inequality, war, peace, nationalism, science, religion, and so on, can help us remember and more clearly define our own values and priorities. We revisit our own adolescent questions with greater maturity and are often surprised to find we now have answers. We also rediscover the joy of struggling with a thoughtful question.
Awareness—alertness—intelligence. Raising children can put us back in touch with that central core of who we are. ~~`Joan A. MacDonald, The Holiness of Everyday Life Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1995), p.57-59
