From Neal A. Maxwell’s book ‘That Ye May Believe’:
Dear Andrea:
You commented on the challenge of giving and receiving feedback, which can come to us from many sources. Unfortunately, simply because of its source we may discount feedback which contains a needed insight. When it comes from loved ones (as in the case of Moses’ father-in-law), this unusually makes it easier to receive.
In view of your interest in discussing corrective counsel, special illustration from the political realm follows, Clementine Churchill, loyal and able, loved her remarkable husband, Winston, enough to remonstrate with him occasionally. During the dark days, when his special leadership counted for so much, she wrote Winston a loving letter of reproof:
My Darling,
I hope you will forgive me if I tell you something you ought to know.
One of the men in your entourage (a devoted friend) has been to me and told me that there is a danger of your being generally disliked by your colleagues and subordinates because of your rough, sarcastic, and overbearing manner. . . I was astonished and upset because in all these years I have been accustomed to all those who have worked with and under you, loving you—I said this, and I was told “No doubt it’s the strain.”
My Darling Winston, I must confess that I have noticed a deterioration in your manner; and you are not as kind as you used to be.
It is for you to go give the orders and if they are bungled—except for the King, the Archbishop of Canterbury, you can sack anyone one and everyone. Therefore, with this terrific power you must combine urbanity, kindness, and if possible Olympic calm. . . .I can not bear that those who serve the Country and yourself should not love you as well as admire and respect you—
Besides, you won’t get the best results by irascibility and rudeness. They will breed either dislike or slave mentality.
Please forgive your loving devoted and watchful. . . . .Clemmie 1
Delightful and insightful, isn’t it?. . . . Your loving and admiring . . . Grandfather
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Notes 1. Mary Soames, The Biography of a Marriage: Clementine Churchill (New York:Paragon House, 1988) p. 383-4.
