From Kathy C, Klayton’s book, “Teaching to Build Faith and Faithfulness” (Continuing from a previous post of June 16, 2023: * Sometimes Adults Need to Be Reminded)
Many Fathers, even without the benefit of the gospel, have discovered the centeredness and strength that comes from knowing who they are eternally and embracing that identity. In an article in Newsweek magazine entitled “Just Don’t Call Me Mr. Mom.” a young dad shared his experience taking an extended vacation to be with his children. He says, “It was the most rewarding time of my life—and a bonding experience I wouldn’t trade for anything.”I’m not suggesting that all fathers should take an extended paternity leave, but we know from gospel truth that fatherhood is the most important role a man can fill and a glorious part of his divine identity. It is no wonder that many fathers, even those who have never read “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” have discovered the blessed joy and the feeling of righteousness that is the result of rejoicing in an identity as a parent.
When the wife of Wallace Stegner died, an article appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. The article included a clever tribute to her husband. He said, “She had no role in my life except to keep me sane, fed, housed, amused, and protected from unwanted telephone calls, to restrain me form making a fool of myself in public, to force me to attend to books and ideas from which she knows I will learn something; also to mend my wounds when I am misused by the world, to implant ideas in my head and stir the soil around them, to keep me form falling into a comfortable torpor, to agitate my waking hours with problems I would not otherwise attend to; also to remind me constantly–not by precept but by example—how fortunate I have been to live for fifty-six years with a woman that is bright, alert, charming, and supportive.”20 Such a stunning tribute is only earned by a woman who knows who she is eternally. Affirmatively, constantly teaching our young people who they are eternally equips them to become that kind of woman or man.
Knowing Who We Are to Heaven Makes All the Difference I became poignantly aware of the mighty effect of a solid sense of celestial self one Saturday when my husband was busy meeting with government leaders in Las Paz during a Church assignment in Bolivia. I accompanied a local sister on a visit to a young woman in the area. As we drove up and down the roller-coaster streets of La Paz, I asked the priesthood leader who drove the van about the young woman we were scheduled to visit. The driver assured me with enthusiasm that the young woman was among the very finest and most faithful girls in the stake. As he carried on with his praise for this girl’s exemplary living, I thought to myself that perhaps he had not understood that I had actually hoped to visit a young woman who needed some help. This girl did not sound like what I had expected. I was not sure that I would have anything special to offer her that she hadn’t mastered. I have since repented for having doubted the inspiration of the priesthood leader who had arranged the visit.
At long last, we stopped at a home where a well-groomed woman stood at the door to greet us. She welcomed us into the small home and invited us to sit in the folding chairs that had been arranged in a circle that ringed the whole of the living room. Once we had taken our seats, all eyes turned to me. Those in attendance had never experience a visit quite like this before and it was, after all, my big idea. Since I was not acquainted with most of the people in the room, I thought we might begin with some introductions.. I learned that those were the branch president, an eight-year old boy who was the brother of the young woman herself. Other chairs were filled by the woman whose home we were meeting in, the branch Young Women president, the sister who accompanied me, our driver and the North American visitor—me.
I chatted with those sitting on the couch to provide myself time to hear the voice of the Spirit telling me what we were there to accomplish and how I might help. All the while the young woman’s mother bowed her head in what looked like fatigue and discouragement. The young woman herself thoughtfully answered most of my questions to keep her weary mother from having to find the strength to respond.
After some time, it occurred to me that I should ask “Hermanita” {little sister], I am here from all the way across the world visiting your country. I asked your leader to take me to spend some time with a young woman who might like a visit. I have never met you before. I am not sure why you, among all the women of La Paz, were there girl that Heavenly Father prompted your leaders to take me to meet. But I suspect that you might know. Do you know why I’m her?”
My question was met with stunned silence. The girl’s mom hung her head lower and the young woman began to weep. While they were gaining their composure, the branch president offered a response: He said: “Hermana, you know about the landslide that devastated many of the homes in our branch. (I didn’t). Well, this family lost everything. Their father is camped out near the rubble of their home waiting for permission to sort through the remains to recover whatever he can from their belongings. This mom is living with her seven children—six little boys and their oldest daughter, in the chapel for the time being. One classroom is their home. They prepare their meals in the church kitchen with several other families. They all share the shower in the baptismal font area.”
At that point, the young woman felt to offer her perspective. She said, “My mother is working very hard to provide for us all without my father while we live at the church. It is not easy. I try to help her. Every night, I do homework with my little brothers and help get them to sleep. My mother is discouraged. I try to make things better for her. I am not complaining. I love my family and want to do what I can. I just need to know. Does Heavenly Father know I am here?”
With that heartfelt question, my mission became clear. I could tell that young woman with certainty, “Yes, He most definitely does. He knows you. He loves you. He will never forsake you. You are doing the right thing. He is very pleased with you and he will bless you.” And then I added, “I will pray for you.” That faithful young woman needed to be reminded of her divine identity. She needed to be assured that her Heavenly Father had not forgotten her.
Because it is intimate and one-on-one, a home visit provides a particular opportunity to reinforce a struggling soul’s sense of self. All the pieces were in place for that particular home visit to bless that faithful young woman as the people who would be of ongoing support to her. I had offered her the opportunity to express her faith by expressing herself and asking the question that she needed to have answered. I arrived at the home with a sure personal testimony of the divine identity of every human soul, including the young woman’s, so I was ready and eager to bear that certain testimony to her. Armed with the confidence and rightness of our intentions, the worth of the young woman and the willingness of heaven to bless our efforts, we shared a sacred experience.
A certainty of our celestial identity is the fundamental starting place for all other teaching and learning. It empowers both teachers and learners by providing them with an unchanging bedrock of confidence in the importance of making choices and committing time consistent with the privilege and responsibility of who we are as sons and daughters of God.~Kathy K. Clayton, Teaching to build Faith and Faithfulness (Salt Lake City:Deseret Book, 2012) p.40-44
definition—torpor: a state of physical or mental inactivity; lethargy
