From Chapter 8 of his book ‘Covenant Hearts’, Bruce C. Hafen shares insights of a covenant marriage:
The parable of the Good Shepherd contains many clues for understanding covenant marriage. The parable is not only about Christ’s love for us. It is also about the love of marriage partners or parents who give themselves to others in covenants so deep that they may fairly think of the other as their “own” and “mine”—even though their companion’s freedom and personal growth are, paradoxically, as precious to them, perhaps more precious, than their own.
The sheep in this story are those for who Christ has given His life, and they have accepted His sacrifice by hearkening to Him. He is known of Him because they follow Him. He “owns” them because He redeemed them. He bought them with His blood in the two-way covenants of the Atonement. They are His covenant people. He is their covenant Shepherd. He lays down His life for them—that they might have a more abundant life.
The partners in a covenant marriage also give their lives for each other, a day or an hour at a time. They sacrifice and hearken to each other as equal partners. Each give wholly to the other; each receives the other fully to himself or herself. They belong to each other—never as property but as souls willingly entrusted to each other’s keeping. By caring passionately about their partner’s personal growth, a central part of their life’s work is to help their partner develop a more abundant life.
As with most analogies, the parallel between Christ as the Shepherd and a husband or wife of a shepherd is limited. What Christ did for us is unlike anything we could really do for each other. He is divine and we are human, His sacrifice is beyond serious comparison with ours.
Yet there are parallels between our relationship with Christ and our relationships in marriage. Jesus suggested as much when he compared His second coming to the coming of the bridegroom and the people to ten virgins preparing for a wedding (Matthew 25:1-13). Moreover, Paul wrote, “Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). A man “nourisheth and cherisheth” his wife, “even as the Lord the church” (Ephesians 5:29).
And marriage partners who help carry one another’s afflictions are doing something Christlike. By living more as He does, they will become more as does, they will become more as He is.
The wolf in the parable is any serious threat to a marriage or to one of the marriage partners. Because of the hireling’s limited commitment, when he “seeth the wolf coming,” he flees.
Why does the Lord speak in such matter-of-fact terms about this wolf that always seems to show up? Because life is hard and full of problems—wolves. Dealing with wolves is central to life’s purpose. For a husband and wife to deal with the wolves together is central to the purpose of marriage. ~Bruce C. Hafen, Covenant Hearts, Marriage and the Joy of Human Love (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2005). 85-86, . . . . ‘continued’
