From Joan B. MacDonald’s book ‘The Holiness of Everyday Life’ and continuing from a previous post ‘Balancing’ now addressing other needs for balance:
Housework: It has been my experience that housework presents a whole different set of learning experiences than working outside the home. There is no external structure or discipline to work done at home; the structure and discipline must come from within. There is almost never as sense that the job is done, no external performance evaluations and no opportunity, for promotion or advancement. There is also no inherent exposure to cultural diversity; indeed, working at home is often a lonely job and needs to be accompanied by time away to be with friends and neighbors. On the other hand, full time homemaking offers flexibility and freedom not found in any other job. Moreover, I have found that the nature of housework itself offers some solutions to its own unique problems.
The Myth of Balancing: During a spiritual living lesson, a mother of young children raised her hand and complained of her life. “How do I do it?” she asked. “How do I find the time for scripture study and prayer when home and family demands press upon me so? From early morning until late at night the demands of housework and children seem ever present. How can I strike a balance? Where can I fit in what I need to do to promote my own spiritual growth?”
Many . . . . struggle with those questions. In Gift of the Sea, Anne Morrow Lindbergh beautifully expresses her own struggles: “The problem is not merely Woman and Career, Woman and the Home, Woman and Independence. It is basically, how to remain whole in the midst of the distractions of life.”5
How do we remain whole in the midst of distraction of life? In her book, Lindbergh suggest the importance of finding space and time for solitude. As important as solitude is, it is not always possible. The truth is, women with several young children are often busy from early morning until late at night. Even if a woman is sufficiently well organized to find a few moments to herself, those moments must often be used to get needed rest. Although Relief Society may quote “To everything there is a season,” that thought offers little reassurance to women whose lives are out of balance for years on end.
For those who are well organized and disciplined enough to find space in their busy lives for solitude there arises a second problem. Be it daily scripture study, trips to the temple, or a weekend retreat, once the period of solitude and contemplation is over, they have to come back! When I was a young mother with four children under the age of three, I was repeatedly advised by physician and friends to take time for myself—to get away from it all. Of course, it was wonderful when I could, but after the break was over, I had to come back! Soon the resolutions made and peaceful feelings acquired faded away, and I was bogged down with endless diapers, cleaning and meals. Getting away didn’t solve any problems, nor did it help me cope with life’s daily demands. However, through the years, I did learn to cope—and then to grow. I did this not by getting away but by learning to see the work of the Lord in my own work. To my surprise, the work itself has become my most effective teacher.
What is a homemaker’s work, and how can it be spiritually sustaining. The primary task of homemaker is parenting. Though often difficult and frustrating, parenting is of itself deeply meaningful and profoundly spiritual. The second task of the homemaker is maintaining the home—housework. Housework is not thought of as inherently meaningful, and, at least at first glance it is hardly spiritually sustaining. In fact, when it comes to living a spiritual life, housework just seems to get in the way. ~Joan B. MacDonald, The Holiness of Everyday Life (Deseret Book: Salt Lake City, 1995), 15-16 (Continued. . . . “The Truth is Under Here Somewhere”)
