From Brent L. Top’s book ‘Living Waters’. . . .
The Chinese philosopher Confucius is reported to have taught: “To be wronged or robbed is nothing unless you continue to remember it.” All too often we cling tenaciously to our grievances against those who have wronged us—mulling them over and over in our minds. Until we are willing to “let go” of our spiteful thoughts and emotions, we remain bound by our own self-imposed shackles of bitterness. We become like small animals, such as monkeys or raccoons, that are easily trapped by a simple box with a hole in it just large enough for the animal to reach in and retrieve a morsel of food or a curious object. The hole, however, is too small to allow a fist formed by clinging to the object to come out again. The animal, unwilling to let go of the bait, is thus trapped.
The ideal attitude, “forgive and forget,” may seem unrealistic, if not impossible to achieve. Each of us will cognitively remember how we have been wronged or injured, but we indeed “forget” in the same sense that we can conscientiously commit or covenant to “let go” of our hard feelings. We can determine to dwell no longer on the wrongs done us. We can force thoughts of retribution out of our minds. “Leave it alone,” Elder Boyd K. Packer counseled.
“Some frustrations we must endure without really solving the problem. Some things that ought to be put in order are not put in order because we cannot control them. Things we cannot solve, we must survive. . . .
“If you brood constantly over a loss or a past mistake, look ahead, settle it.
“We call that forgiveness. Forgiveness is powerful spiritual medicine.”9′
This “leaving alone” of deeds that are done and cannot be undone and of circumstances that are beyond our control is the first step in “supplying the action”—preparing our hearts—so that God can supply the feeling—-heal our hearts of hatred and bitterness.
“Pray for Them Which Despitefully Use You”
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus not only commanded his disciples to forgive others, but also gave them the means whereby that could be accomplished. “Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you” (Matthew 5:43-44; emphasis added).
Often the question arises, “How can I love my enemies or forgive those who have hurt me when I have no feelings of affection for them or when I actually dislike them?” The Savior’s celestial charge is based not on emotion but on volition. The words he used—love, bless, pray—imply actions we choose to do rather than feelings we naturally feel. Just as “letting go” involves a conscious commitment on our part, so does this second prescript. ~Brent L.Top, Living Waters, (Deseret Book, Salt Lake City, 2002) 68-70 (continued)
