From the teachings of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, from chapter 7 of his book ‘To My Friends’: His preamble thought. . . .
Beware the wounds of any Battle in which you have been fighting on the wrong side.
As modern winds of immorality swirl luridly around them, I am concerned for any of our youth and young adults who may be confused about principles of personal purity, about obligations of total chastity before marriage and complete fidelity after it. Against what is happening in the world they see and hear, and hoping to fortify parents as they teach their children a higher standard, I wish to discuss moral cleanliness. Because this subject is as sacred as any I know, I have earnestly prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide me in the remarks that are more candid than I would wish to make. I know how Jacob in the Book of Mormon felt when he said on the same topic, “It grieveth me that I must use so much boldness of speech.”1
In approaching this subject I do not document a host of social ills for which the statistics are as grim as the examples are offensive. Nor will I present here a checklist of do’s and don’ts about dating and boy-girl relationships. What I wish to do is more personal—I wish to try to answer questions some of you may have been asking: Why should we be morally clean? Why is it such an important issue to God? Does the Church have to be so strict about it when others don’t seem to be? How could anything society exploits and glamorizes so openly be very sacred or serious?
May I begin with a lesson from civilization’s long, instructive story. “No man [or woman], however brilliant or well-informed, can. . .safely. . . dismiss the wisdom of [lessons learned] in the laboratory of history. A youth boiling with hormones will wonder why he should not give full freedom to his sexual desires; [but] if he is unchecked by customs, morals, or laws, he may ruin his life before he . . . understand[s] that sex is a river of fire that must be banked and cooled by a hundred restraints if it is not to consume in chaos both the individual and the group.”2
A more important scriptural observation is offered by the writer of Proverbs; “Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals and his feet not be burned? . . . Whoso committeth adultery . . . destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonor shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.”3
Why is this matter of sexual relationships so severe that fire is almost always the metaphor, with passion pictured vividly in flames? What is there in the potentially hurtful heat of this that leaves one’s soul—or the whole world, for that matter—destroyed if that flame is left unchecked and those passions unrestrained? What is there in all of this that prompts Alma to warn his son Corianton that sexual transgression is an abomination before the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?”
By assigning such seriousness to a physical appetite so universally bestowed, what is God trying to tell us about its place in His plan for all men and women? I submit to you, He is doing precisely that, commenting about the very plan of life itself. Clearly among His greatest concerns regarding mortality are how one gets into this world and how one gets out. He has set very strict limits in these matters.~ Jeffrey R. Holland, To My Friends (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2014) 122-124 (Dwarsligger edition) (continued. . . . see The Wrong Side II)
