From the June 2022 Liahona magazine, an article by Jason Whiting, PhD, Brigham Young University . . . School of Family Life:
Dan (name has been changed) was seeing me for professional counseling. “I try to live the commandments,” he said, “but I am constantly tempted by sensual distractions. I recommit but get worn down and occasionally end up letting my guard down. I am not going to pornography sites, but I become hypnotized by inappropriate images that seem to be everywhere. My wife is hurt, and I am tired of trying.”
Perhaps you have felt something similar. Dan’s struggle is common. Many of us live in cultures that have become preoccupied with sex and saturated with sights, sounds, and ideas that misrepresent the sacredness of the body and the divine purposes of sex (see 1 Corinthians 6:19). Because of the internet, there has been a rise in both occasional and compulsive pornography use,1 as well as associated moral challenges.
As a therapist, I have worked with many who struggle to rise above the temptation to indulge in lustful thoughts, objectification of others, lewd media, or various versions of what the scriptures call “lasciviousness” (Jacob 3:12; 4 Nephi 1:16). Though the world trends downward, the Lord asks His disciples to live standards of moral integrity (see 3 Nephi 12:27–29; Doctrine and Covenants 42:23).
How can we strive for a high standard while navigating these challenges? How can we decrease discouragement and increase commitment?
Temptation, Shame, and Lasciviousness
With Dan, it was helpful to distinguish temptation from sin, understand shame and the power of agency, and learn to rely more on the Savior’s grace.
Dan had righteous desires, but he felt like he was failing. He was ashamed, in part because of his ongoing temptations. Like many, he thought that because he had given in to some temptations, he might as well give up.2 While guilt is an important feeling that motivates us to repent, shame can have the opposite effect, leading us to give up. This is particularly damaging when we mistakenly believe temptation is a sign of weakness.
It isn’t a sin to be tempted or experience physical sensations.3 Sexual feelings are a divine gift4 that, when used appropriately in marriage, bring husband and wife happiness and connection.5 These physical responses are strong, sometimes triggered by body shapes or behaviors. In nature this is called an ethological reflex, where a posture or expression causes an automatic reaction. When one is passing people on the street, for instance, a hostile glare provokes a different physiological response than a welcoming smile. Sensual images can elicit powerful reactions as well. These feelings and the temptation to act on them are not sins, and if their invitation is ignored, the feelings eventually pass. However, if they are pursued, the feelings strengthen. . . .
The Damage of Moral Sins
For the complete article, click. . . . How We Can Overcome a Lust-Filled World.
