Richard L. Evans wrote:
There is always an urgent field for thought in the problem of disciplining people. Parents and others frequently find themselves searching and praying and pleading for wisdom and guidance in the teaching and disciplining of young and impressionable people (and others also).
There has been a long-continuing controversy on the question of how harsh to be, how severe, how lax, how indulgent—a controversy that has seen the duty of discipline torn at times between the tendency to be too severe, too demanding, and the tendency to be too soft, too indifferent, too indulgent. Not only from one generation to another, but also perhaps from time to time in our own lives as individuals, we have seen the swaying between the old adage “Spare the rod and spoil the child” (which concept has been abused), and the softer sound of simply “spoiling the child” (which has also been abused).
There is no known infallible formula for the problem of disciplining people. To prepare such a prescription for all circumstances and situations would seemingly require a wisdom exceeding that of Solomon. But in any such prescription, there are some essential component parts and some elements to be utterly avoided:
First of all, there should be no laxness or indifference to duty. There should be fairness and consistency of penalties imposed, with a judicious weighing of facts. And, finally (and in punishment it may seem paradoxical), there should be love. Punishment in hate may leave its ugly, in-erasable marks both upon the giver and the receiver. But punishment in love is likely to leave lasting benefits without leaving marring marks—punishment that reproves “with sharpness” as occasion may require, and then shows forth an increase of love towards him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy.” (Doctrine & Covenants 121:44) In the highest tradition of teaching and in the real work of making men and women, we can’t lead a child, we can’t lead anyone very far without love. We can’t drive with hate, with threats, with fear, with force. But if we want a young man or young lady to be their best, there must be a basis of love underlying all our actions and attitudes. ~Richard L. Evans, From the Crossroads (Harper and brothers, New York, 1955), 117-18 (Language modernized.)
