Richard L. Evans wrote:
“As was observed many centuries ago: There is “a time to every purpose . . .”(Ecclesiastes 3:1) And there are times when some things should be said, and times to keep silent. There are many times when we are tempted to make cutting remarks, when the quality of kindness (and good sense itself) would suggest that we keep silent.
Sometimes on the football field we see the dangerous practice of “—piling on” and pushing the bottom player a little further down into the dirt. In life there is also the practice of ‘piling on’ and pushing people down a little further—with words. Sometimes we see it among children. If one of them has made a misstatement or mistake, all present seem to want to outdo one another in embarrassing the unfortunate offender. But even as adults, too many of us, too often, are cutting with our comments and too sharp with our tongues. Too many of us correct others cruelly, with the wrong spirit at the wrong time. Even in families, correction is often ill-timed, and the intended lesson may be lost by the resentment that comes with being embarrassed before others.
There are times to speak up; times to say what should be said. There are truths that must be spoken, falsehoods that must be challenged, miss-impressions that must be corrected, and fact that must be made known. But the ill-timed lashing of an uncontrolled temper or a loose and irresponsible tongue can do irreparable damage. No friendship, no household, no marriage, no society is strong enough to remain unmarked by unbridled sarcasm or by cruel comment.
Whether uttered inadvertently or otherwise, we are responsible for the weight of our words, and we should weigh them well before we let them loose, having good sense sometimes to be silent, and not to let temper or bad timing void the lessons that might have been learned. And on those occasions which must and do call for sharp correction, we should show “forth afterwards and increase of love toward him whom we have reproved,”[i] for love can make correction lasting, but hate only hardens the human heart.
May God give us the good sense to know what to say, and when to say it, and when to be silent; and give us also the great quality of kindness so that what is said, will correct and not merely cruelly cut. ~Richard L. Evans, From the Crossroads (Harper and Brothers, Publishers New York, N.Y. 1955), 97-8.
(Posts with a preamble asterisk * are for a more general audience and not specific to teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.)
At the time of publishing of the above, Richard L. Evans was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
