Mark A. Reinecke, PH.D. in his book “Keep Calm and Carry On” taught:
By letting go, it all gets done. . . .But when you
try and try, the world is beyond winning.
—Lao-tzu
Lao-tzu was quite right. Let me explain why. If you’ve ever been white-water rafting, you know that one of the first lessons you learn is this: If you’re thrown from the raft (and at some point you will be), wrap your hands up around head (protect what’s important), aim your feet downstream, and be like a stick. Relinquish control and let the current carry your body through the rapids. Eventually the currents will carry you to a calm eddy. But if you fight the current, you’ll expend energy and hit the rocks. Pain will ensure.
So it is with life. Sometimes very difficult situations have no simple answer, so we have to let the current of life carry us along. This brings us . . . to. . . the importance of accepting ambiguity and of maintaining faith and optimism in the face of adversity. As Thomas Aquinas said, “Faith has to do with acceptance of things not seen, and hope with things not at hand.”
Let’s consider Benjamin Franklin’s take on life. He remarked, “Our limited perspective, our hopes and fears, become our measure of life, and when circumstances don’t fit out ideas, they become our difficulties.” Many times we are confronted with events that “don’t fit our ideas.” Here is where acceptance and hope are most important. (Orsillo and Roemer, 2005)
A friend of mine, Allie, who recently passed away, had been blind since contracting an illness at the age of three. That was in 1923, and during those times, a child with a disability this severe was often institutionalized for life. Thank goodness for Allie’s forward thinking parents, who reassured her, “You will find a way.” Allie went on to become a happily married concert pianist and to raise four children. When asked about being blind, she responded, “It is a major inconvenience.”
There are many allies in the world and they teach us a most important lesson: Remain steadfast in the face of adversity. Accept life’s challenges as well as its gifts.
Key Points
- When you are confronted by a serious problem you have no control over, the wise approach is to flow with the current.
- Keeping an open mind as life reveals itself is the key to finding calm after the storm.
- Recognize the difficulties and inconveniences, but also recognize the gifts in life.
What your may be thinking
- Go with the flow? I’ve heard that before. It’s a lot easier said than done. By the way, what does it really mean? Are you telling me to act like I don’t care when bad things happen? Even worse, does this mean I shouldn’t complain?
Now ask yourself . . .
- Were there situations in the past where you wish you’d been able to maintain a sense of composure in the face of a threat? Are there problems in your life now where adopting this stance, allowing events to evolve, would be helpful?
- Following the example of the white-water rafter, what does it mean in your life to cover your head and protect what’s most important?
What You Need To Do
- Make a list of three or four most difficult situations in your life, the things you worry about the most. Which of them could you fix with effort? Which of them (like Allie’s blindness) can’t be fixed?
- How would your thoughts and behavior change if you were to accept this predicament? What’s the “calm eddy” you hope to reach? That is, what positive outcome might you be able to bring about?
~ Mark A. Reinecke, PH.D. ,“Keep Calm and Carry On” (MJF Books, New harbinger Publications, Inc.) 115
(Posts with a preamble asterisk * are for a more general audience, and not specific to teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.)
