Russell M. Nelson said: “May I offer five headline hints, along with comments about each, that might be helpful to someone you love.
- Establish good communication at home—husband and wife, parents and children. Listen carefully to understand; speak carefully so others can understand, and plainly so that you cannot be misunderstood. Use words that always show love, and remember to think before you speak or act.
- Establish prime time to cultivate this prime relationship of life. Place family appointments first on the planning calendar. Let meal times be happy memory times for family. We have generally kept Monday nights free for our family and now our children do the same.
- Attack the problem and not the person. Parents have a duty to give necessary protection and correction. But when discipline is needed. we have applied the rule to correct in private and praise in public.
- Build a foundation of common values. Try to answer behavioral questions not with “knee-jerk” behavioral answers but with reasoning based upon enduring principles and doctrine. Build a base of spiritual competence and confidence that will stand through all generations. Those enduring values include feelings of deserved self-esteem, which would include the importance of chastity, avoidance of addicting, harmful substances, along with loyalty to family members, commitment to common goals, and respect to the laws of God and man. Speaking of enduring values, turn to your own roots of family history—your parents, grandparents and beyond—and learn along with the children. Knowledge of one’s ancestors engenders loyalty and an identity that can come in no other way.
- Build faith in God, faith in the family, faith in oneself. Help each person to understand that he or she is a child of God with divine attributes and potential. The wondrous inborn capacity to heal one’s own wounds and the incredible capability to grow and achieve are evidences of these divine gifts.
Make it easy for children to love their parents, who will even help with homework, at least for a little while. Be interested in children’s activities and participate as appropriate. Enjoy family outings and vacation together. Share quality time one on one.
No doubt you can improve upon these five headline hints and develop suggestion that will be applicable to your own particular circumstances. (“Remarks to Delegates,” Third Annual World Family Policy Forum, July 18, 2001)
