Many months ago I felt great spiritual growth and focus that had me make promises to the Lord capturing the focus ‘that I am His to do with what He wants’. It was a time of wonderful strength and purpose. Prayers, covenants… really everything seemed so ‘on track’ for the right spiritual reasons and purpose. There has been a lot happen, since then, to where yesterday I found myself struggling to keep one of those promises made to Him at that time and was amazed at how far I had seemingly ‘degenerated’.
I understand after reading again from John Pontius’s book ‘Journey to the Veil’ (p. 99, The Way of Growth) that this is a normal pattern in spiritual growth. It is necessary with each level/experience of growth, that the Lord seemingly ‘abandons’ us before blessing us with the next step, requiring greater commitment, purpose that then yields greater spiritual growth. Simply put we go through these phases that we may follow Him unquestioningly in whatever He asks, no matter how we feel at the time. I see how, again having distanced myself from this principle, I have fallen short. But He is mighty to save me from myself and form mortal weaknesses… when my heart is willing and my self evaluation sends me again to my knees…
Putting my own mortal expectations for spiritual growth ahead of my Savior’s individual plan for me (struggling against my raw human weaknesses), is like telling the boss who’s has been through it all, he doesn’t know what he is doing! kdm
